By Lujira Cooper
Today, we cry for those who’ve died. We weep for those murdered, and then we fight. For too long we’ve hidden to forget the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” thrown at us. NO MORE. Neither do we hide under a rock nor in a closet obscuring our true selves. No longer do we allow others to define us. WE DEFINE OURSELVES. We stand tall in our beingness. “We refuse to be invisible.” Yes, the shadows darken as forces rise to defeat us however, we’re the light. We are not violent people until violence comes to us. WE DEFEND OURSELVES. As blazing beacons of light, we shine through the darkness. WE SHINE. Yes, life will get harder during this time of darkness, and yet we will survive, thrive, and live. We’re here for our younger brothers and sisters. We will not permit our elimination. Some of us may perish in this fight but it is a battle worth fighting. Some of us may hide until the horrors are over, I understand. There are times to step back, though I don’t think now is that time, I understand doing so. If horrors come, we will create places of safety. We create our own UNDERGROUND RAILROAD. Eventually, we will defeat the dragon at our door. As The Bible says, “Everything must change.” Nothing lasts forever, neither good nor bad. However, we will survive and grow. Each one of you is one of many faces and bodies determined to live your life. We know our lives are sacred. Attacks will bombard us like a tsunami and yet we’ll ride these waves of hatred into peace and love. We will assuage our pain with friends and community. Today begins our fight to exist and we do. We are challenged and rise to accept it. We will use our united anger to fight, and we will win. Just by not giving up we have won.
Bayo Ayaba Callender passed suddenly on Monday, October 9, 2023, a victim of cancer. Bayo was a person full of life and expression. She had much to give to the world and she gave unstintingly. After having lived in many parts of the world including China and traveling through several countries in Asia, she worked in The Hague, The Netherlands, and in Stockholm, Sweden. Bayo was a maven working with various organizations addressing the constancy of negative institutional and cultural outcomes to problems of race and gender. Working to reduce the persistence of those disparities, she brought that learning to the World Bank Group (WBG) in Washington, DC. As the first Race Equity Officer of the World Bank Group, she was key in helping that venerable institution mature and develop various means for institutional change.
Sometimes in league with other organizations, Bayo was a silent partner, helping to shape the public work of others. Such is the case with her work with the committee named Lucy’s Children* at the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture. The committee is housed in an organization that has a track record devoted to raising hard questions and probing answers. It provides analysis through papers, lectures, and selected operations to stimulate positive, workable responses to difficult issues and increase effective self-learning and redirection. Lucy’s Children is a place where the gaps are identified and the dots are connected.
In this time of grief sharing, we have established the Bayo Callender Memorial Fund at the Brooklyn Society for Ethical Culture (BCMF/BSEC). The work goes on. Bayo’s imprint is with all who touched her. Giving to continue her legacy is one way of remembering her and ensuring that her efforts continue with vigor and resoluteness.
http://bsec.org/donate/
Thank you.
Lucy’s Children at BSEC
* Lucy, a 3.2 million-year-old fossil skeleton of a human ancestor discovered in 1974 in Hadar, Ethiopia, by Donald Johanson and Tom Gray on November 24, 1974.
“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth”
Henry David Thoreau
Americans in a certain respect are under-read and over-exposed thanks, in part to social media, thereby producing a population that has a highly personal and ego-centered view of themselves and the world. This makes many conversations very difficult. One of them is an open discussion about abortions. Arguments rather than discussions ensue because they do not begin at point of inquiry or investigation, they start from the viewpoint of opinion, deemed self-knowledge. Often this position is vociferously espoused as righteous. Yet, one is reminded of the wisdom of Mark Twain, I paraphrase, “It’s not what you know that is the problem, it’s what you think is right that just isn’t so, that gets you in trouble.”
Having babies, having sex, seeking it, lying about it, and registering opinions about it are as old as time. That’s largely how the human family — such as it is — got us to now. Only recently, that is, in this part of the century, has the conversation about women — in my opinion — taken on any measure worthy of greater introspection. I learned very early that the brand of feminism as described and espoused by the burgeoning brand of this school of thought — largely driven by Caucasian women — did not jibe, hold muster or was greatly incompatible with my own sense of the idea. As a Black woman, my idea of feminism was almost wholly different from what I heard and saw in print. I deemed my branch of the discussion as “womanism,” in perhaps a futile attempt to make a philosophical distinction from the aforementioned.
Some 49 years after its Decision, Roe v. Wade is still being bandied about and stalked by some states and advocates doing enough forward-backward motion on the subject to make the cha-cha look like the merengue. There are so many more aspects to the man-woman-child thing than a court’s decision could ever possibly consider. The results, nevertheless, are swept up in the long term, particularly the woman and the child. Now, however, the highest court in the land will have a go as to whether we move societally forward well into the 21st century or backwards into earlier times.
The High Court, in my opinion, should only consider cases in light of being the ultimate protector of the citizenry given the constant movement by “the system” — primarily its economic thrusts — to devour various parts of the vulnerable among its people. In my mind’s eye, that would keep the most predatory aspects of “the system” at bay. But it doesn’t and it won’t.
There are several cases underlining the High Court’s current review of the abortion issue. The Roe v. Wade case is the seedbed of these cases which are in various stages of review. There is Texas S.B.8 which is the legislation allowing and enabling vigilantism. Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, initiated by the state of Mississippi, clearly puts the question of abortion squarely on the table. As important as all of the rest of 40 years’ worth of argument is, where is the country headed? And, by whom? If it is for the better, then how is that case being made?
So, now at the Bench are those who are most vulnerable — the mother and the child. I think that men should stand outside of that circle, as this is a step too far. That means that the six robed jurists who sit on the High Court ought not be deciding on abortions per se. If anything, they should be deciding if state and local jurisdictions are way beyond their boundaries in making laws that hold women and children hostage. And, the female jurist who thinks like the men should also step aside as that viewpoint has already been represented. So that in my Supreme Court, that’s down another one, seven so far. Now will the women who think on behalf of millions of women in all walks of life, stand up? Hmm . . . , only 2 are standing.
I find it interesting, first of all, that men would think that they have the right to discuss a woman’s body, but the converse — that women discuss men’s bodies — never holds, it never gains traction in the public discourse of things male. Surely, this reluctance is either the by-product or a tenet of gender-based possession and ownership, an essential cornerstone of patrimony. Make no mistake, women buttress this thinking as well as men. They just can’t let it go! Or, better yet, examine the idea and the failures of the patriarchy more closely. Having neither heard of nor been a part of any national discourse that was honest, insightful, and well-honed, I am not expecting to hear one now. But, this is an opportunity to say a few things, so here we go.
First, men have enough trouble with their own bodies, their roles and responsibilities particularly their work in families to devote themselves entirely and in entirety to those elements, never mind the women. As a gentle reminder, it is due to them that a child is even conceived. If the men spruced up their relationships and rose to their responsibilities better, we might not be having this conversation at all. In the many ways men engage in conversations about sex and its aftermaths, 99 times out of 100, theirs is not the consideration of long-term consequences. Need I remind you of the popularity of the “little blue pill” advertised ad nauseam for the single purpose of encouraging sexual engagement by men. Please, do not quote any mishmash about adoption being a viable alternative for unwanted, full-term babies. Were it that simple! For those who say that women should make better choices, I say mothers should raise better sons and fathers should be better dads. However, this is NOT that chicken and egg question. The point is, for women for whom the question rests, there should be choice. Period, end of discussion!
Women do not face abortion like going to the movies or like johns hunting for a prostitute. There’s no joy in this. Men who never had a child do not realize the medical risks taken in childbirth, in full or partial-term. That is part of a woman’s biology and we are extremely grateful that the medical profession has stepped up to the plate on that! This comes with the full knowledge that medicine like all of the rest of it has a ways to go and that what we know has come at great cost.
I am bewildered why so many people who have nothing to add or support or do not care about the life after birth have so much to say while the child is in the exclusive province of the carrier, its mother. Where a couple has decided and committed themselves to parenthood is not the issue here. Whatever and however they handle their business we presume will be fine. They will work it out. We are talking about the others, where problems are recognized early on, where this is not going to have a good end, where the carrier is alone and cornered, where there is no love and maybe none of the other essentials for good and decent home life. . . no other way out. This is a woman’s dilemma regardless of marital status, whether of high or low birth across time.
This conversation may have barbs, it should. Realities are different from ideals, but some of us work diligently to homogenize the two as much as possible. Let’s talk. I’ve put some things out there, so when are we going to have the discussion on raising better men? Now don’t get all silent on me, boys.
Muriel Tillinghast
December, 2021
By Muriel Tillinghast
“As anti-vaxx groups nationwide continue to push dangerous theories, some are already reaping the consequences. In their latest deadly advice, the same anti-vaxx groups that pushed at-home COVID-19 remedies including drinking bleach, taking ivermectin, and gargling Betadine have been encouraging members not to go to the hospital.”
Daily Kos, Aysha Qamar , September 217, 2021
Clearly there is something going on in the resistance COVID protocols including wearing masks, frequent hand and face washing, and maintaining about 6 feet distance between strangers. I shake my head regarding not only the resistance, but the fury with which some of those parties respond. Masks and inoculations/vaccinations seem to be the prime targets. I try not to be judgmental, but here’s my thinking:
1. OK, I get it that one doesn’t want to be told what to do, but everyone gets directions, orders, advisements all during one’s life, some you follow willingly and others not so. However, if someone provides the hope of saving your life and the lives of your loved ones, what’s the beef?
2. I don’t like wearing masks either, but I have learned to make it work. It is a matter of getting use of something. I breathe through my nose and mouth when I have the mask on and I manage. You will too.
3. “I am not going to get the disease.” There’s no reasoning behind that one, so I’m going to skip that argument.
4. I got the flu after I got my flu shot. No argument. And you might catch COVID after the COVID shot, but here’s the kicker. With no immunity, severe illnesses including death is almost certain, if the virus is contracted. With the shots, it appears that the virus will be less virulent. Avoid the most serious effects is personally and medically important. One article said that 70 million people who are avoiding the inoculations are “simply kindling for the virus fire surely to come.”
5. So what is this virus in simple terms:
a. As a virus, this thing has no life. It is not a bacterium. It cannot be killed. It can be arrested when it has no more hosts in which to bred itself. How long can that last? Science doesn’t know. The idea here is to stop providing hosts in which the virus can breed and breed it does exponentially when it comes “home” to living, unvaccinated body.
b. Once inside the body, this rapidly reproducing virus can evolve at a rate this is nothing short of phenomenal. The virus enters in one form does not stay that way. The virus can evolve into several different forms depending on the host (your body) and its specific attack formations in various areas.
c. One viral entry can set up more than 12 or more different internal viral formations which can continue to create other formations. I now understand when doctors say, “There is nothing more we can do.” They are not chasing one problem, they may be chasing thousands of problems in one body: blood vessel (clouts), lungs (pneumonias), the heart to name few prime areas where the virus “sets up house.”
d. On NPR “Science Friday,” (October 1, 2021), a British case study was reviewed and it really effected me. About 10 days after he was infected, a man went to the hospital. The infection was noted, but nothing was happening to put them on alert and so he was sent home. As you know, hospital beds are in shortage and so is medical staffing, so he was not a priority. About 35 days later, he was back in the hospital and again his case was considered mild, nothing to work on. Then he came back 75 days later and he was in acute distress. He never got better. On the 101 day of his ordeal he died. His body carried more than a 1 billion viral load of the COVID type. That made me stop in my tracks. I don’t think that people understand this medical adversary. I know I didn’t!
1. Wait, there’s more, something called Long-COVID, for people who survive the virus. Here’s a layman’s type definition: “Although long COVID is poorly defined, the researchers [acknowledge] such symptoms as chest/throat pain, abnormal breathing, abdominal symptoms, fatigue, depression, headaches, cognitive dysfunction and muscle pain.”
2. COVID and its fallout will be with us for decades to come. As of this writing 700,000 Americans have died from the disease, the highest number of COVID deaths in the world. The social and economic impact is staggering, e.g., the number and care of children who have lost one or both parents and other significant family members, the loss of income by death or incapacities per household, loss of property, etc.
Be wise: get the shots, stay up on your vitamins, follow the protocols.
